Sunday, March 27, 2005
withers away @ 11:55 pm
happy easter ppl.. haha.. got one more day of hols tml.. but will be out.. got exco meeting in the afternoon.. oh wells.. haha.. we really got lots of stuff to settle.. hahaz..
got nothing much to write.. eh.. coz im really damn bored these days.. but leaves me time to think abt stuff.. shall end wif part of one of cat's blog entry.. cat, pls allow me to.. hope u dun mind:) coz its really meaningful to me..
In a bar in a remote village in Spain, close to the city of Olite, there is a sign placed there by the owner. "Just as I succeeded in finding all the answers, all the questions changed." The master says: "We are always concerned with finding answers. We feel that answers are important to understand what life means."
It is more important to live fully, and allow time to reveal to us the secrets of our existence. If we are too concerned with making sense of life, we prevent nature from acting, and we become unable to read God's signs.
"The master says: "It avails you nothing to seek explanations about God. You can listen to beautiful words, but they are basically empty. Just as you can read an entire encyclopedia about love without knowing how to love. "No one will ever prove that God exists. Certain things in life simply have to be experienced -- and never explained. "Love is such a thing. God -- who is love -- is also such a thing. Faith is a childhood experience, in that magical sense that Jesus taught us: 'Children are the kingdom of God.'
"God will never enter your head. The door that He uses is your heart."
--maktub;paulocoelho
It's something Mystical
Saturday, March 26, 2005
withers away @ 11:35 pm
havent been blogging.. was quite sian.. well thurs we had class outing.. went to cine to watch hitch and eat sushi buffet.. damn full.. wanted to go out ytd too but mum didnt allow coz i went out the previous day.. -__-.. stone the whole of today too.. feel so retarded sitting in front of the tv all day.. oh wells..
sometimes words dun really come out the way i want them to..
It's something Mystical
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
withers away @ 10:00 pm
oh my goodness its been such a long time.. since i last blogged.. oh wells cts was.. quite terrible.. but actually still ok lahz.. erm... just hope i dun fail anything.. ever since i came into jc i think im more concerned with whether i pass rather than whether i do well.. hiya shit quite brain dead now.. i dunno wad to write haha.. nvm i just wanna slack my days thru man..
zhong yu kan kai ai hui bu laier ni zong shi tai wan ming baizui hou cai ba hua shuo kaiku zhe qiu wo liu xia laizhong yu kan kai ai hui bu laiwo men mian qian tai duo zu aini de shou que fang bu kaining yuan mei chu xi qiu wo bie li kaidao dai by jolin/jay
It's something Mystical
Friday, March 18, 2005
withers away @ 9:20 pm
[3 days]
mugged wif joan ytd.. a bit for today too.. hmm not bad lahz.. at least got stuff done.. its always good to haf someone to tell u to jia you along the way.. thanks dear:)
i actually thought ytd was quite a nice day (except me and joan sorta got conned into donating money.. damn the guy.. ok we were quite stupid lah) there came the news that the mock interview is a killer. oh wells.. after going thru it today really realized that there's lots of preparation to be done beforehand.. lots to improve on..
but for now, lets just worry abt the cts.. i dun think i even finished half of wad im supposed to study.. esp bio.. i wonder if organic chem went into my brain or was i just wasting my time staring at the mindmaps..
i can see it coming.. the pre-cts-freaking-out syndrome.. which i always get.. oh wells. at least im not freaking out like now.. i guess i was freaking out for the mock interview that's y..
everyone jia you.. gather everything within u and just go all the way.. with a clear mind..
It's something Mystical
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
withers away @ 9:40 pm
today's spent doing shopping. bleah. and i've really put on weight.. nearly died due to excessive sweating while trying on jeans. oh wells.. this doesnt really sound good huh.. bleahz.. but anyway i FINALLY found a proper top.. though its ex.. investment u call it? wadeva.. as long as i look proper..
just that im getting rather irritated and stuff.. over nothing really.. just feel like i've been forced to grow up.. if only i could just stay as a sheltered little girl mugging in some school.. the wider the options and possibilities the more lost.. the world out there is so huge.. i wonder if i can take it.. so much to think so much to see yet no time and space.. gotta decide on almost everything like now.. and it determines my future.. though growing up does means more freedom and stuff, it sure means stress and responsibilities.. suddenly growing up seems quite scary..
coming back to now, unproductivity doesnt really help. dear we better be productive tml.. argh..
nice song by s.h.e... bing xiang.. wad attracted me at first was that it starts with a riddle.. i believe all of us heard it before..
ba da xiang fang jin bing xiang you ji ge bu zhouba he ma fang jin bing xiang you ji ge bu zhouba hui yi fang jin bing xiang hui bu hui ji moba ai qing fang jin bing xiang ye yi jing dao le shi hourang yan lei yi ci liu gou yao ji ge zhen tourang ming tian bu zai nan guo yao duo shao zhi herang re qing bian cheng leng mo suan bu suan zui guorang ai qing tui bing duo jiu cai ke yi hua wei wu youcong jin yi hou zai mei you ren na yang dou wocong jin yi hou jiu yao fen shoucong Jin yi hou bing xiang bu bi zai fang pi jiucong jin yi hou bie zai men kou deng worang yan lei yi ci liu gou yao ji ge zhen tou
rang ming tian bu zai nan guo yao duo shao zhi he
rang re qing bian cheng leng mo suan bu suan zui guo
rang ai qing tui bing duo jiu cai ke yi hua wei wu youcong jin yi hou zai bu xu yao bie ren hong wocong jin yi hou jiu suan fen shoucong jin yi hou ri ji zai ye bu yong shang suocong jin yi hou shen zhi bu shi peng youping guo gei ni ling meng gei woke le gei ni ka fei gei wozi you gei ni zhen xin gei woni de gei ni wo de ni bu neng dai zou
It's something Mystical
withers away @ 12:26 am
[5 days]
argh im not mugging. i need the drive. i need the motivation. ok maybe im mugging. im just not fast enough. how fast can i be anyway. im not a machine. there's so much to do. or maybe i wasted too much time. ok stop all this grumbling and go mug. stop doing stupid stuff. and i just hope everyone out there is doing well. esp mel after wad i read. argh. just a few days of not coming online to read. wad is happening?
It's something Mystical
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
withers away @ 9:46 pm
[6 days]
im so dead.. me and joan met miss tan for the sapphire's thing.. suddenly got so much to prepare for.. this is just not the right time.. i even have to go out tml to get proper clothes.. gosh.. bleah im quite sick of all this.. hiya saw all this coming anyway.. juz gotta live with some stuff i guess.. life doesnt really go our way.. as long as it goes God's way.. it'd do.. lalalalala.. im going mad pretty soon at this rate.. nvm ignore me.. i'll be back to normal in a little more than a wk's time..
It's something Mystical
Saturday, March 12, 2005
withers away @ 11:43 pm
[9 days]
its been quite some time since i last blogged.. fell asleep before i could even go online haha.. hmm let me think.. lets start from thurs..
went to keming for cip.. for the first time we really coached.. i coached 3 girls.. the experience was quite enjoyable.. at least i felt like i was helping someone.. they girls i coached were nice and quiet.. haha.. barney's grp is the most noisy loh.. the gal kept flirting with him lah! haha.. so damn funny.. i wonder how long does he have to put up with this man haha.. jia you jia you!
oh pin and jc left.. hope they enjoy themselves in maldives.. haha.. they'll come back safe and sound.. the faith is back..
fri.. brought lots of cds coz i prepared to mug like siao.. in the end mrs che couldnt make it for our bio lesson and had to push it back.. my plan was screwed up.. bleah.. had free periods in between but they weren't long enough for me to be able to do any effective mugging.. met up with hito.. exchanged bdae presents.. i got a cute cow! haha.. thx.. after bio the 3 sisters plus nan stayed in class to mug.. later nan left.. its been such a long time since we last mugged in class.. we were sitting in all kinds of position haha.. joan even brought cup noodles up to class to eat haha.. we ate lots in class.. after joan and mb left i continued mugging in class alone.. did a mindmap of all organic chem topics except those with benzene rings.. oh man it took me a few hours.. to link everything up.. gosh.. hopefully it'll help.. mb dun give up on ur cts man! jia you!! dun keep saying u will fail..
today.. went for nus open house.. met cyn too.. oh wells i will confirm go nus one loh.. just that whether i can take double degree that i want.. i shall find out.. el's phone landed in the toilet bowl while she was in the toilet in nus.. dotz.. we helped dry the elephant hung on her hp and also to dry the phone.. whole process took abt 1/2h but phone still can really be revived.. oh poor el.. den bea and mb came to my place.. watched diru, miyavi and kagrra 'live's.. mb left halfway.. me and bea continued watching the whole afternoon.. listened to WTD too.. bea rmbr to burn for me!
i will keep my focus and mug for cts.. trust me..
It's something Mystical
Thursday, March 10, 2005
withers away @ 12:22 am
[11 days]
shit. argh.
champagne didnt turn up for lesson.. tsang didnt come for civics.. slacked the whole way through.. played bridge.. haha was so sian.. i didnt want to mug though i knew i had to..
highlight of the day: bball match.. didnt watch much of gals match.. tsang's daughter is good! haha.. we were more interested in the guys match.. after prac me and mb literally ran out of the LT (thank God for air con so i dun haf to keep the fans), threw our bags and guitars at the pigeon holes and rushed all the way down to the bball court.. we missed half the match.. thought we would miss most of it.. well to be frank i was disappointed.. mb could hear me lamenting.. alot of mistakes and stuff.. but nvm.. it was an experience for them to learn.. jia you!
feeling indifferent.. maybe im quite numb alr..
life goes on as it never ends.. oh really..
It's something Mystical
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
withers away @ 11:13 pm
[13 days]
faith. hope. trust. fear. deceit. suspicion. denial. facade. longing. control. responsibility. liability. expectation. strength. courage. will. destination.
nirvana?
It's something Mystical
Monday, March 07, 2005
withers away @ 11:15 pm
[still 14 days]
bio s was quite a disaster. nonetheless i still came out alive.. thank God.. i just went and wrote one and a half pgs of total crap.. wow i wonder how i did it man.. without any prior knowledge.. coz all i read for that topic was one sentence.. how great.. oh and did i mention a bio s essay is supposed to be at least 4 pgs long.. whatever.. without any reference i dunno how im going to do that.. lucky we marked our own essays.. didnt hand up.. phew.. if not i'll really pity the one who's going to mark my essay.. hmm or maybe i should say congrats to her.. coz she can just spare me a few marks and go on to the next script.. haha..
well but seriously i felt terrible while writing the essay coz i was really unprepared.. and i was just thinking to myself that i would flunk it and its for sure. hope i dun haf to do this again.. my palms were getting horribly sweatly, even before i started writing anything.. i was nearly trembling.. gosh.. sux..
for once i see some marked improvement in guitar practice.. at least when keeka stops in between there's less noise produced and dynamics are clearer for blackbird.. i just hope we'll keep improving and not have to repeat the same things that are done in the previous practice.. lets just hope im not disillusioned or hallucinating haha..
i'll work hard.. though there's much to work hard for..
ta zou le dai bu zou ni de tian tangfeng gan hou hui liu xia cai hong lei guangta zou le ni ke yi ba meng liu xiazong hui you ge di fang deng dai ai fei xianglydia by f.i.r.
It's something Mystical
withers away @ 1:10 pm
[14 days]
in bytz now.. doing gp research at the same time since champagne has course.. its sad that we dun haf a half day.. haiz.. nvm.. juz gotta survive wadeva comes later.. which i dun really look forward to..
had a real entertaining theatre performance during contact just now.. the whole LT was just laughing like hell.. haha.. they should have this every contact to let us destress.. haha..
The Mood. hmmmmm
zui hou de teng ai shi shou fang kaibu xiang yong yan yu la che suo yi xuan ze bu ze guaigan qing jiu xiang hou che yue taiyou ren zou jiu you ren laiwo de xin shi yi ge zhan paixie zhe deng daishou fang kai by li sheng jie
It's something Mystical
withers away @ 12:07 am
[14 days]
watched moulin rouge.. missed the front though.. i think its a damn nice show.. but quite a sad ending.. haiz..
quite screwed.. but nvm sorta worked out my thoughts.. if i wont fall back into my old set of thinking.. i suppose i'll be all right.. i hope i can..
yu lin shi le shi jieni zhan zai wo mian qianai de tai shen tai xiang yaoni de wen du gei wo yi kaoque bu neng yaofang qi le ye xu cai kan de daowo cong bu shi ni de jiao aohou le yuan by f.i.r.
It's something Mystical
Saturday, March 05, 2005
withers away @ 11:41 pm
should start the countdown.. [16 days]
went to my relative's house coz they had some kind of celebration for his 50th bdae.. met up with my so-called cousins after so long.. they're actually my mum's cousins' children.. so i guess u can count them as my cousins.. spent the whole time talking with them since they were only a few yrs older than me.. we counted.. havent seen phyllis for 3 yrs.. havent seen thomas for 6 yrs.. gosh.. we are all getting old.. no wonder thomas couldnt recognize me and even asked my mum why i didnt come along.. O.o me and phyllis were trying to stop him from drinking.. he drank nearly a cup of liquor and still wanted to drink beer.. gosh. we were like saying no one will be able to get him home when he's drunk. coz their parents didnt come.. well.. she was trying to guide him in his life and help him get a goal.. didnt really work to me.. wonder how much his jie said got in.. i suppose this takes time..
didnt talk much to gary and alvin though.. they came really late.. i was already preparing to leave by then..
i havent done any work.. dunno how to do maths.. i dun care anymore.. im tired..
why is it so difficult? leng feng guo jingchui luan xin qing lou chu le shang xinwo you duo mo shang duo mo tong ni bu hui xiang xinleng feng guo jingchui dong ji yi xin wu fa quan yudeng dai you duo ku you duo nan meng he shi hui xingleng feng guo jing by 5566
It's something Mystical
Friday, March 04, 2005
withers away @ 11:58 pm
joanie bdae!!!!!! happy bdae!!!! yeahhhhhh
haha madness.. pw results arent released today.. scare us..
had a 2h+ exco meeting wif our teachers-in-charge.. whoa it was quite taxing.. lucky there were laughs in between.. mr koh treated us to ice milo too.. mr koh n ms ng were fighting over who to treat us haha.. settled quite a bit of stuff..
just when all the stuff are more or less settled and over, the work starts piling and stress starts building up.. cts are just round the corner.. i have neither caught up wif my work nor slp.. its getting nowhere..
i'll try hard not to screw up.. i dun wan to make anyone unhappy anymore.. i dun wan to make anyone worry anymore.. i wan to be a nice little good girl..
wo wang le zhen xiwang le hui yishuai huai xin ai de wan juwo xue zhe yuan lixue zhe fang qixue zhe zai mei you hui yitian kong de cheng zai jie tiai guo suo yi te bie de shang xinzui hou wo kai shi wu zhuang zi jiyong yan lei xi guo zi jizui hou wo kai shi wu zhuang zi jiyao qiang hua ruan ruo de xinzui hou wo kai shi wu zhuang zi jiyou ming zi mei you ge xingzui hou wo kai shi wu zhuang zi jiwo huo zhe you wo de yong yi
wo shou cang kong juai shang kong juna jiu zai mei you kong jushei yao wo ren shougei wo sheng mingshi shei gei le wo xue yiliu chu shen ti de sheng yinhuan ni wo bu xi han de dong xiwu zhuang by mayday
It's something Mystical
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
withers away @ 10:52 pm
held exco meeting during civics today.. used so many smses to msg them.. tsk tsk.. gonna have another meeting on fri.. with teachers-in-charge.. haiz.. den tml got sapphire's scholars meeting.. haiz..
after the meeting went straight for psc talk.. was v hungry.. i was trying to think abt wad path to take in the future.. realized that if i want to take up a psc scholarship i'll end up as a teacher to serve my bond.. i mean if i study life sciences or pyschology, where does this fit in the public sector? im quite confused now.. hmmm
what's great was the reception after that. wow.. mb bea and el were having their own reception.. so guess wad.. since the psc reception was clearly better, they took off their ties and went to get food from there.. haha.. ate till we were damn full..
we seriously needs to be more motivated if we still want to fulfil the goal of getting gold.. this seems more like a dream to me every time i go for practice.. there's no unity.. no passion.. its so hard to get ppl moving and listening sometimes..
the feeling still lingers on. how long would it take before this feeling dies off. or is it here to stay.